A new phase of life

Having Huck on the outside feels like the release of a lot of tension--not in an emotional way, but more in the physical sense, like we were hovering on a precipice and there's a lot of potential energy there, and you can feel it like the compression of a spring or the bending of a bow, and one way or the other, you are going to have to find a new equilibrium.

Thank the sweet Lord for Feather Fall. We have landed softly, and that's really nice. What's even nicer, or what has a slow burning effect (as opposed to the swift rush of relief that comes when the baby is born and we all can go to sleep) is that the series of life-changing events that we set into motion upon moving from Baltimore to Atlanta in 2005--the eventual completion of my degree, the move from Atlanta to Somewhere Else, the beginning of a real job, the beginning of Cheryl's schooling, the selling of a house and the need to get a new one, etc--which are all details of one big precipice--and the subsequent life-changing events to which we've committed--deciding to have a kid, actually having Violet, turning into parents, meeting and integrating Sally and Aaron (and then Juniper and now Hazel) into our family, deciding to have another kid, slowly transforming from carnivores to flexitarians, becoming UUs, etc.--all of which constitute other precipices--well, the metaphor is getting a little over-wrought, maybe, but the upshot is: damn, there was a lot going on, and a lot of things happened at once, and Huckleberry's birth feels like a long-awaited, much-need full stop.

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Which is also to say another sentence can begin. One takes a breath, deliberates, tries to find the right words. We are in a good place to compose ourselves, now, to just settle into the rhythm of life for a little while, to weather storms and work on our ground game. Teaching is starting to come along for me, and I like it, which is great. My research has started to shake the rust off its gears and grind into motion. Violet has friends and seems to like her school. Cheryl is recovering nicely, excited about the time she spends with Hal and V and making plans to get some classes in this coming fall. We have wonderful family members who are a delight to be snowed in with--this is a rare blessing--and who have the dedication or recklessness to drive through the winter to get here.

It's a nice soft place to land and make camp for a while. I'm looking forward to improving our menu planning and getting my routine down and making slow but steady progress and watching the kids learn and grow and just living the hell out of life for a little while instead of careening all over the emotional stratosphere.

Still, a little elation is kind of nice. I have a son! A new kid! He squeaks!